Saturday, March 19, 2011

Around the Weirdos in 1 Go

Disclaimer - All the incidents are purely.. not fictitious, as a matter of fact everything's entirely real nigga!
This one is a sequel to my previous post which made you roll over - MORONS

It all started with this - In my college, a '101% dood' sitting in a Job Interview
Interviewer- "Show me project? have you done it yourself?"
101% Dood - "Yes Sir! Urself"

Somewhere in School -
These days err..not these days actually 'barso se' school people have been educating the students on Reproduction,STDs and ... (I think we should not divert).
On one fine day, one girl to another- "Quickly mam is gonna ask ques, temme what's the fullform of AIDS?" Other girl has no clue, just an idea that this is something mature, So here's her reply - "Ah I Did Sex" (AIDS).

Somewhere in Company-
I went back to my summer internship for one more time. And saw my so called love (mind you its not a crush!) who is an employee(female) over there, But it seems she's still busy with her Gay bf(crack crack sab... saccha pyaar tha bhai ka :|). But now here comes the punch - My good old moronic friend who's again doing his training in Korea sends me an instant message - "Dude! You know what.. we guys are so lucky to hail from India, We're known for our X-factor and 'mard'-ness!!..And So I just realized that am a hot property over here! little chinkis want me"(aargh!)

Somewhere in the college corridors -
On the other side our good old local paparazzi continues to click pictures of chicks sitting in the classrooms and market. Only this time he's much more efficient as he knows how to switch between the VGA and the megapixel mode(:P). High time for everyone else as they circulate his photography collection on LAN and keep Zooming into the faces of poor girls ..... Lame! (but yehi sach hai :D)
He also puts a watermark on all photos - "Papa Ji's Photography.All rights reserved"

Somewhere on the net -
Then there is '1 in a million' guy whose life is facebook, He's expert in fultoo commenting in all those pics that you people upload.
"ye ladki nahi banaras ka paan hai" - In a pic Where a girl is wearing a floral dress
"Uii Amma Uii Amma kya karta hai" - Where a Boy is with a girl
"mai admi hun ar admi se pyar karta hun" - Boy with a boy
"tan tana tan tan tan tada...chalti hai kya 9 se 12?" - Boy and Girl on a bike (koi bhi ladki chas jae ispe toh)
"pushpa tum aaj bhi wohi chick shampoo use karti hun" - Girl's Profile Picture
"lion...lion naam hai mera, tumne treat nahi di toh kutta ban gya" - Somebody's Bday Party pics
"madam ji sarkai lo khatiya jaada lage" - On A Random Pic (Paying tribute to govinda i think)
"u didnt birth today only but you world ka rakhwala also, mere bahadur chowkidaar....jaagte rahoooo" - Wishing Bday
"Don't fear am here....just kiss me there" - His Status update

Somewhere in the Examination Hall-
Our infamous parchi-wala continues to cheat away in his final year too. The only difference is, earlier he used farra and micros, Now he uses a 12 Mega-Pixel Camera!! Surprised ? Well you have to tame those 'haryanvi' invigilators with bottles of 'videshi daru' and few contacts from your cellphone of hot chicks in your college.
Whenever these invigilators meet him, they'll say - "Re bhai pika thik hai? manne bhi koi chhori whori patwa de"

Female Section -
Girls Girls Girls, altogether fall in a different category. Ever wondered how they comment or chat on facebook? Although they're flooded with pings but.... sometimes they'll stop by to send you a "heya","heyloz","hieez","helloww :)" (one can never understand)
For those of you who are experienced enough, you will reply back and take it over from there but then 'sweety sweety' people do exist - They'll reply back "hello" and wait for her....After 20 mins the girl says - "You idiot!, maine hello bol toh diya ab tumhara kaam h puchna ki mere kya hal hai and all to make me special"
And the way they say "byeeeeeee" makes you feel like "haye mai maari jawa"

Frustoo Section -
The first thing what they do is send a friend request , okay it's accepted now ? Wait for the green light to turn up in the chat box, Now what? Choose from some of these legendary dialogues
->"mujhe lagta tha tumme kafi atti hai :|" (and then girl is like kahan mai toh aisi hun '^_^')
->"You looked like a ghissu to me but ab toh wow yaar u roxxxx!"(rapidex course please!)
->"never knew ki I would get a chance to talk to you" (as if she's the next shehnaz hussain!)
What is the girl's reaction then? Here are the cases 1.Use and Throw Policy 2.Sentiyaap 3. Mere fans badh rhe hai(lamest)

P.S. Have you met one of those? Or is it just me who has had the privilege to know them. Anyways I simply love the world in this way.


sanjayadhikari said...

ha ha ha...pickup lines mast hain....maybe i could have used one had u told me in private....he he

Narender Gupta said...

sahi bhai sahiii.....
loler than the lolest...!!

saamir gupta said...

rofl... ha ha ha ha ha .. d pick up lines.. he he hahhaha

Apy said...

Thank you so much