Sunday, June 27, 2010

L.O.V.E. Files

Picture this...If you're pretty much straight, and those hormones still pump inside you, then you should proceed further(Regardless you're a girl or a boy).

Why do we chase the chicks after all? and how many of us have actually managed to stay away from running after chicks?(Without being gay). Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you some of the random files of LOVE or maybe crush?.

For guys:
>>Some of us choose not to talk (to the girl) and rather show off our skills by hitting shots/scoring goals against small street kids(bribing them - one lollipop each) while hoping that girl is like "Koi iss ladke se dosti karva do!" ... or showoff newly bought attire (hoping
girl to reach you and say " pinch!!!!!")

>>School crushes are really sweet, you dream about them, your frnz force you to express ur feelings but you won't,considering urself to be a true lover for the whole life until you see her playing "CHINKI",Pinki,Ponki with a facebook status that reads "In a realtionship with FUN SEE LEE"

>>Now considering my name is ApurvA , i get many friend requests from boys , showing their concern, chatting with me for long hours until I hit the point and spoil their dreams lol , even one of them said "Listen! don't tell me that, I already have a GF , I just wanted you to be my friend".

>>There are then 'Katai dooods!' on cyber space who deliver a top notch frustoo act (Bhukha kutta) but sadly sometimes their keyboard doesn't seem to support them. On of them while hitting on 134th girl asks her hobbies and blah , comes to the point by asking her when she's free "Err...Btw, What are your Shit timings?(shiFt timings!)....what the F?

>>There is a bunch of special guys who are fans of pyaar ishq aur mohhabat, they send sms'es to girls "i wanna frennz with you", dial their number, just to hear them speak .. "Hello!....Kon hai kamina @*%!#&? :D?".
They would chase their chameli/julie/pinky and her rickshaw with their bikes (having stickers - dil laga ke toh dekho sanam)
Their way of dressing, cycles according to the changing style of Himesh Reshammiyan in his movies, Although Ravi Kissen provides a solid backup when himesh is missing.

>> By any chance, If you happen to grab so called 'Piece' in a working condition which resembles human structure (Girlfriend I mean).... Even the ones who can only be called a 'girl' seeing that they fill their gender as female in their application forms. But then leaving all jokes apart, it's high time for the audience "Treat treat treat!" when the person is in front of you, when he goes off "Kya pata ke beth gya hai gadha par isse achi milti nahi yar isko"..."Treat treat treat!" when he comes back again.

For girls:
>>Every girl (even those who pay clandestine visit to 'mardana taakat dawakhana' ) grow up learning these lines - "He looks so gay", "He looks so serious", "He is a ghissu", "usne kabhi apne aap ko dekha hai", "Huh as if I care about him","Hatt! I think he's a homo" "Woh apne aap ko handsome samjhta hai kya?", "Oh cmmon gimme a break!","chii! uske sath ualh!" and one very fine day they are like "Sob!...Mujhe koi line kyu nai deta?"

>>Girl is the biggest enemy of a girl, One half of the 'best friends' comments about other's bf- "suna tha ki pyar andha hota hai par itna andha??" then again "If they ever plan to get married...I wonder how she'll introduce him to her parents?" and continues to lol,rofl,lmao and every other slang that's available in the chat market.

>>Some girls never get tired. You have to keep buzzing them for asking their relationship status - "Its in the process".Couple of days later "Yay Yay! I am fully fixed"(as if she's a machine or a spare part lol), But then "I broke up after a month, he was not my type u noe!"(He couldn't afford coffees @CCD , instead went for 'matka kulfis' at rehdiwala) and just after a week "Ohh yea! munni mai fir se fix hone wali hoon!", Ask her why she fumbles with her Bf's - "This is life yaar munni...enjoii!"

P.S. The last one is a guy who's cheerful , official clown of the class, makes people laugh as much as he can, and loves his friends/family rather than looking out for a gf or some other leisure. 'L'ost in his 'O'wn world but still 'V'alues 'E'veryone....L.O.V.E. :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Also known as Jackass/Bawdibooch
Statutory Warning: Content of this article is not fictitious and it bears striking resemblance to incidences which have occurred in colleges.

College Starts>> Director's Speech, "waah! kya bat hai!"

After 1 week>> (Beginning of a new era?)... Thanks to your Worthy seniors who are teaching you some really exciting and mature words to add to your vocabulary (Who needs Word Power Made Easy now?).

After 1 Month>>(College Life seems pretty cool eh?)....Time to be a a man! (yeah!), You're now ready to participate in a very manly competition - To finish off maximum numbers of 'suttas'in minimum time...Whatever it takes..You fight it out and emerge victorious..although at the end of the fight , you lost control of your nervous system..What??.. Yes!, And have ended up having a leaking disaster(Mutravisarjan in pants), what they call 'pee'-ing your way to the glory.

After 2.5 Months (Mid-Sem Break)>> (So Good to be back at home).... You meet your neighbors and tell them what it takes to get into a college which has a national status, This "national" word does spin a wonder when all of a sudden, a moron pops up - "How Did you arrange that much?", "What 'that much'?","The Donation, they must have demanded really huge!", Now folks,I would rather not comment on that one!...'A National Donation'(Gimme a break!!)

After 2 years>> (Training Time? farzi certi de denge!) Okay, For those who go for quality vocational training and guess what?.... You (Me too) go 'fultoo frustoo' for those female employees(Happens when you roam outside NIT and realize that ladke and ladkiyan are different species :D ),You'll see them and
have fairy tale dreams about them but 'rahoge goonge hee' cause you are still a 'baby' for them (apne se badi ladkiyan sabko pasand ati hai).

After 1 week of Summer Training>>(Time to crush your crush!) You are quite happy in your vacation and training until you find out that the girl who topped your charts has a boyfriend there itself, but how?? he is so gay!!!!(That's what's I call Frustration Overload!)
Back at your Workstation-> While You are still crying, one of your moronic friend doing his training in korea sends you an instant message "These chinki pinki are constantly looking at me...yar ek bat to samjh lee, kahin bhi jao, foreigners kee har jagah value hoti hai".

End of Summer Vacations>> (Class over, Waiting for the next teacher to arrive) Suddenly, You discover there's one special category of morons too ...Is it?...Yea..who love to roam around in the corridors and capture snaps of the chicks sitting in the class, just because they're short of cellphone wallpapers, Ahoy! Its NITK's very own Paparazzi!

During Preparatory Leave>> One of your friend starts posting some status updates on facebook which reads "I love a naughty boy and he also loves me for that", "mai deewana hun kacchi kaliyo ka", "Any NITK Hottie for mr.naughty?", But the comments
that follow his updates are something like this "WTF?"

End Semesters>>(Ohh! Abhi toh sem shuru hua tha!) Some of us won't study at all and few of us are 'born-to-forget-everything-in-exam'(My case) , So we have to rely on'farra' or 'micro'(No option!) , Sometimes you carry bundles of micros but have no
clue at all about the subject and so you are bound to ask (making a face as if you need to go to the toilet immediately) "Please koi micro mei page no. bata do, Please jaldi !"

Hmmm....So, Next time you notice something weird, My suggestion would be ....... IGNORE IT! It's Normal :D
P.S. This article has already been published in CONVERSE - The unofficial magazine of NIT Kurukshetra, The only difference is here I've segmented the whole article and cropped a few points.